First session 24th January 2019
Professional diagnosis: Cervical cancer
Female 43 years
I first came to know about Dani and Vivienne at a point in my life when I was lost.
My cancer was back and this time my care was classed as palliative. I was 43 with three beautiful children and a husband I adore. I was terrified and totally bewildered. In one sentence my world was literally ending, my future with my family ripped away. My youngest was only 4, she might not truly even remember me. All I ever wanted was to love my family and to see my kids grow up, fine love, be happy and safe.
The weekend passed and we arrived back at the hospital, treatment began, 6 rounds of three different types of chemotherapy delivered over 8/9 hours every three weeks. Exhaustion, cramps, an ear infection and a late-night dash to A and E followed. We decided to begin researching. At the very least we would do everything possible to support my body through bemoaned at best, who knows…..
Researching is hard, there’s too much out there and how on earth do you wade through it all?
We began. We made a list a shortlist of alternative therapies and nutritional information. We made changes, big ones we thought. Hospital trips and chemo dominated but so did our regime. We began juicing everything and eating organically. We read extensively about cancers love of sugar and resolved to follow a basic logic.
Many things in this world need appropriate foods and environments to survive, we wanted to make the cancer as uncomfortable as possible in the hope it would get the message! I say we, because the support I have received has been invaluable. My husband and children and the most amazing group of friends have been incredible and you do need to accept help and you do need support. My husband is my rock and my kids my world, my motivation. We had to try everything even if that meant challenging our own beliefs and assumptions.
It was at this stage that we first spoke to Dani. We spoke on the phone for an hour and she agreed to see us in January. As I began cycle 4 we travelled to London for our first session with Dani and Vivienne.
So many emotions were flying around as we drove down and it was only when we began the session that I realised how much I wanted this to give us options, hope and at the time I thought I needed a feeling of control, though I now feel what I needed was the ability to make choices for me, for us.
We arrived together with a promise that if this wasn’t for us, both of us, we would walk away and move onto another approach.
Three hours later we left exhausted, positive, cried out and with the seeds of a realisation that in order to gain the stability I craved, I needed to stop trying to control everything and address my situation on all levels, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
A tailored specific protocol of what my body needed followed with support and advice on how to source things we were unfamiliar with and adapt things if a particular element was unpalatable to me.
A focus on my feelings and meditation began. Our lifestyle changed. We changed. The daily plan that initially consumed my whole day keeping on top of, rapidly became a pattern we knew with ease. I am my own case study and I don’t know how my story will end, but we are already changing how I was told it would unfold.
In rounds 5 and 6 of chemo on my new protocol from Dani and the input from Vivienne and Cosmodic ENS, my blood results for the first time showed an improvement from a consistently low white blood cell count of 1.5 to 1.8 in round 5 and 2.7 in round 6……the point where chemo was likely to have left me at my weakest. “Whatever you are doing, keep it up!” I was told by my doctors. So, we did.
This lady’s case is on – going and updates will be added as the journey progresses …..
UPDATE July 10th 2019
So…. a few details to cover the last few weeks.
My scan was due in June and then the wait for results that follows, only this time it felt different. I am different. I felt calm and much more relaxed about it all because I felt more aware of myself and the choices that I am making. I have realised over the last few weeks, that the strength I’m feeling comes from the changes I have made and continue to make but it doesn’t mean I’m bulletproof.
I won’t hold myself to an ideal of perfection and a need to get things right in the way I did before, but instead use the tools I now have to listen to myself and take time. I may have a bad day where the kids drive me mad and I revert to cross mum, or I have tried to do too much, but now I can address that. It doesn’t mean it’s a set back, it’s just a moment and then it’s gone.
My visits to Dani and Vivienne have continued as they support me through this journey of my evolution, and their insights give me strength and ideas to work with to learn more about what works for me on all levels.
My scan was good, very good. From a medical perspective, I have been given a complete break for the summer. The news I received came with the message to keep doing whatever I’m doing, as for me, it is working.
The scan is great, how I feel is great, but I also realise that this is not about reaching an endpoint. I am learning how to take care of me and make time for me whilst existing in a world that constantly demands more.
To simplify things. My yoga is making me stronger and my meditation settles me, connects me. Some days will be good and some won’t, but I’m learning not to overthink it and accept things as they come and go. One step at a time is working just fine.